shadyfitnessclub

2012-02-01T21:33:00.004-05:00

Today I was ambitiously making two photocopies at the library when I overheard this exchange between two gentlemen waiting for the elevator:- She's a dirty whore.- Why, what has she done?- She hasn't done anything; it's the things that she says.- Well, she must have done something....- It's just her attitude. It's just the way that she is that makes me hate her. I felt great admiration toward the

2012-01-31T20:46:00.002-05:00

Today I heard someone ask another, "Do you want to do Tim Horton's for dinner?"By far the most disturbing thing I've heard all day.

2012-01-19T22:19:00.004-05:00

Today I met a volunteer named Rachel at the AGH. This was our conversation:- Do you go to Mac?- Yes.- What are you in?- Art History. Do you go to Mac, as well?- No, I'm in Grade 12. I'm applying to Sheridan for Journalism. The thing is, I have, like, two friends--we're super tight--and we originally planned to go to college in California because my one friend--do you watch The Hills?- Yeah, I've

Noteworthy middle-aged individuals on the public transit

2012-01-19T16:45:00.002-05:00

1. Man in drab camouflage parka and black and white camouflage snowpants (one should always be prepared for battle).2. Man wearing one plastic glove on his right hand.3. Woman listening to yellow and black portable cassette player, mouthing lyrics enthusiastically, head bobbing up and down to the beat.

2012-01-19T11:37:00.003-05:00

Last night a huge, muscular white man approached me at Absinthe.- Hey! You're cute. What's your name?- Tara.- I'm Zane. So, how come you don't have an Asian name?- That's racist.- Oh no, I'm not a racist! I'm not trying to sound racist; I'm just interested in your culture.- Okay, but I was born in Canada.And then I stabbed him in the stomach with a toothpick. (Just kidding.)

2012-01-17T23:19:00.003-05:00

My roommate and his boyfriend whilst cooking dinner:- My hands start to shake when I'm really hungry.- Awkward!Sometimes I start panting when I'm starving, but shaking--so awkward!

If I wanted to be confused I would have opened a book

2012-01-17T22:59:00.003-05:00

- Hello?- Hi, is the kitchen still open?- Yes.- I'd like to order for take-out, please.- Sorry, the kitchen is closed.- Oh.

2012-01-15T11:59:00.003-05:00

While waiting at a bus stop, a middle-aged woman decided to strike up a conversation with me--despite the fact that I had my earphones on (some people just don't get it).- Do you go to McMaster?- (I take my earphones off.) Sorry?- Do you go to McMaster?- Yes.- What are you studying?- I'm in Art History.- Oh, what kind of art do you make?- I don't make art; I study art...history.Some people really

2011-03-19T00:08:00.002-04:00

I was talking to my thirty-something-year-old coworker and used the phrase "keep it on the DL." She didn't know what "DL" meant. I explained it to her and she said to me, "See, you speak young, sexy, Internet language. I speak old lady language." Lesson of the Day: If you are looking to seduce an older man or woman, use as many acronyms as possible to intensify your sex appeal and aura of mystery

2010-12-28T22:00:00.003-05:00

My great friend just emailed me a photo of a message I wrote in my friend's yearbook in grade 12.

2010-11-30T13:15:00.000-05:00

My supervisor said to me, "You're like a little pixie that hides behind doors."

At the bus stop

2010-11-29T21:07:00.003-05:00

- "I think I saw The Guy; he was wearing the same hat and jacket. He was at the Student Centre around 5:30 PM."- "Really?! Oh my god, he's so hot. He's perfect. Let's not see him ever again so that he can remain perfect in our minds. Are you going to the church dance this weekend?"

2010-11-27T12:28:00.003-05:00

Anna Ancher, Young Girl Reading a Letter, 1902. Loebdanishartcollection.

2010-11-12T22:43:00.003-05:00

Vittorio Matteo Corcos, Dreams, 1896

2010-11-10T23:10:00.004-05:00

I was "taking a break" from work and saw this photograph by Zhangxiao. Isn't it amazing?Zhangxiao, from the series Coastline.

People are more interesting when you don't understand them

2010-11-01T20:14:00.008-04:00

I love when people I don't know well tell me about their idiosyncracies (though I don't wish to hear of ones that are too personal, gross, or frightening). You suddenly feel as though you know the person far better than before, and he/she evolves into a unique individual in your mind whereas before he/she was more or less interesting than anyone else. Another consequence is that your own

2010-10-20T00:46:00.002-04:00

I was going over things with my supervisor. Classical music was playing in the background. She paused for a moment, distracted by the music. "Oh, it's Star Wars," she said.

2010-10-18T21:42:00.006-04:00

There is a clothing store in Westdale called Peacock Chic. My hypothesis is that if you shop there you must subscribe to the following statements: a) you think peacocks are chic;b) you want to look like a peacock;c) you pride yourself on looking exotic/weird.

2010-10-06T21:29:00.005-04:00

Just read this comment on a friend's photo on Facebook: "Even when you look Asian you're hot."I guess the opposite would be a fine (racist) insult: "Even when you look white you're ugly."

Thanks for your help

2010-10-06T16:43:00.005-04:00

I was at Fortinos and had a question pertinent to my grocery shopping. I spotted a man stocking a shelf and asked him, "Do you know if it's vodka that's supposed to go into Bloody Mary's?" He replied, "I'm sorry, I work for Coca Cola, not Fortino's, so I don't know."Clearly, there is room for improvement with regards to employee training at Coca Cola.

2010-10-05T22:35:00.001-04:00

Riding my bike past a couple, I heard one say to the other, "I was high in class today..."

2010-10-05T21:42:00.008-04:00

Tonight was Dr. Alison McQueen's lecture on Rembrandt, the first in a series offered by The Friends of Art History (which you should consider joining!). After the gripping presentation, Dr. McQueen opened the floor to questions. The very first speaker, the most eager of us all, said confidently, "I think we're all wondering about The Girl With The Pearl Earring." In the brief silence that

Pick one: improve yourself / I'm a loser / you're a loser

2010-09-29T18:52:00.004-04:00

Today I saw a license plate that read "TRIHARD." Is it intended to be motivational? Self-deprecating? Offensive?

2010-09-28T01:18:00.003-04:00

I was marking an assignment and came across this sentence: "Buddhism started with a unique Indian named Siddhartha Gautama..."Hahahaaa

2010-09-23T21:07:00.002-04:00

My supervisor likes when her phone numbers spell out words because it is easier to remember them. She told me that her last phone number spelled out VAG USER. She pronounced VAG as "vague," but I knew what she really meant to say.

2010-09-22T16:50:00.002-04:00

I walked by two girls sitting on a bench outside the library. I heard only one word of their conversation; it was "masturbation."

Hilarious

2010-08-23T22:56:00.000-04:00

Poor Sally

2010-08-23T21:47:00.007-04:00

During my daily visit to my favourite tea shop, I became involved in a rather engaging conversation with the staff, who we'll call Sally and Sue. They told me that last week a crazy man came in, didn't buy anything, but instead told Sally about a girl who was a recent victim of a grisly murder in Shanghai. Sally, who is Korean, was afraid that the story was meant to serve as a foreshadowing of

Austin's First Birthday Party

2010-08-23T19:29:00.002-04:00

2010-08-23T19:09:00.002-04:00

Today my supervisor accidentally called me Tanya, which was kind of depressing. I don't even look like a Tanya.

2010-08-11T22:15:00.003-04:00

He felt morally conflicted, for the Cadillac possesses many attractive features but is not environmentally friendly.

2010-08-09T21:29:00.002-04:00

One of the great things about being alone at home is that I can listen to music at an incredibly loud volume.

2010-08-06T23:31:00.003-04:00

I stumbled upon a music video on YouTube by a Scottish singer named Amy MacDonald (I have no idea who she is and can't even remember what led me to this video) and discovered one of the most honest and inspiring YouTube comments I've ever read:"20 Years ago i have met a girl like Amy. She was not very attractive (and not a Star)but she had sung some Songs and I married her.Singing is a part of

My encounter with Sara Angelucci

2010-08-04T18:20:00.005-04:00

Sara Angelucci, Marianne/Fire, 2000, c-print mounted on aluminum and laminated, CCCA.Today I met Sara Angelucci, who is a well-known Toronto-based photographer. I am aware of her work because for a period of time I was trying to familiarize myself with the photographers listed on the website of the Centre for Contemporary Canadian Art. I was pleased when I saw that she had selected my favourite

Fire and Ice

2010-08-02T23:08:00.003-04:00

Some say the world will end in fire,Some say in ice.From what I've tasted of desireI hold with those who favor fire.But if it had to perish twice,I think I know enough of hateTo say that for destruction iceIs also greatAnd would suffice. --Robert Frost

Harald Sohlberg

2010-08-02T16:08:00.006-04:00

Harald Sohlberg, En blomstereng nordpå (Flower Meadows in the North), 1905.Harald Sohlberg, Storgaten Røros, 1904.Harald Sohlberg (1869-1935) was a Norwegian Neo-romantic painter. The "psychic vibrations" of his landscapes attracted the admiration of Lawren Harris, a member of the Group of Seven, when he and J.E.H. MacDonald (also of the Group of Seven) attended an exhibition of Scandinavian art

2010-07-31T17:08:00.005-04:00

I was at work and decided to visit my go-to site for pornography, The Senior Times, but it was blocked! My heart was filled with disappointment.

Dead chicken

2010-07-26T21:03:00.007-04:00

J.W. Beatty, Ablain-St. Nazaire, 1918, oil on canvas, CN 8102, Canadian War MuseumAt work I read a biography by Dorothy Hoover on J.W. Beatty (1869-1941), a Canadian painter who excelled in the genre of landscape. Here is a shocking excerpt I came across: "At the age of thirteen he was expelled for putting a dead chicken on the teacher's desk."Getting expelled for putting food on your teacher's

I hate her

2010-07-26T19:57:00.005-04:00

Today I overheard a loud girl say into her phone, "She seriously walks like a man. Why does she do that? It's so annoying...I hate her." I shot her a disapproving look to let her know that I didn't appreciate her crazy attitude. In hindsight, the look may not have been all that successful considering that my furrowed brow--which was emanating disapproval--was hidden beneath my bangs.I hope she

2010-06-26T01:19:00.002-04:00

China

2010-06-25T23:11:00.011-04:00

Along the Yangtze RiverPing'An, ChinaPing'An, ChinaThree Gorges Dam, Sandouping, Yichang, ChinaNeil and John from Britain, Yichang AirportGuilin, ChinaPing'An, ChinaSnake wine, Li River Cruise"Impression on Sanjie Liu," Yangshuo, ChinaLi River, Yangshuo, ChinaEggplant, Yangshuo Mountain Retreat, Yangshuo, ChinaHong Kong metroAfternoon tea, Peninsula Hotel, Hong KongPing'An, ChinaChongqing,

2010-05-18T11:01:00.000-04:00

Elle Photo

2010-05-18T02:19:00.002-04:00

I just found two ants crawling on my pillow. I thought I had solved the ant problem in my room when I solved the dead lady bug problem, but apparently not. So many disturbing things are happening. Has someone placed a curse on me? I am scared to sleep in my bed.

I SMELL DISGUSTING

2010-05-18T00:21:00.010-04:00

Disturbing things are happening in my condo. A few days ago I turned on the kitchen faucet and the water had an alarming tinge of dirty yellow. I resolved the issue by not drinking water for the rest of the day. Just moments before writing this post I was in the shower when a brief rumbling sound erupted from the shower head; immediately thereafter a foul smell akin to a thousand burning rubber

Observations

2010-05-16T21:24:00.003-04:00

While I was waiting for the bus today, a middle-aged black woman casually walked by with a plastic water bottle balanced on top of her head. Ten minutes later, a young white man tried to ride his unicycle across a nearby intersection and fell off halfway.

Positive karma

2010-05-03T23:51:00.002-04:00

I was trying to memorize the Noble Eightfold Path in Buddhism and came up with an unfortunate but effective acronym: S.T.A.L.E.C.U.M.Right speechRight thoughtRight actionRight livelihoodRight effortRight concentrationRight understandingRight mindfulnessI hope this helps someone out there.

2010-04-23T13:59:00.003-04:00

DROP

2010-04-20T12:17:00.004-04:00

The Selby

Some wisdom 4 U

2010-04-19T14:46:00.007-04:00

There are many foods that I ate during my childhood that I gradually gave up as I became more mature and refined; pizza pockets are one such example. My mother used to give them to me for breakfast until I realized that eating pizza pockets at 7 in the morning made me feel disgusting. Well, it's exam period now, which means that I'm craving all kinds of foods that will make me feel disgusting and

Hayley Williams of Paramore

2010-04-17T00:22:00.007-04:00

I wish that Paramore was a Lady Gaga tribute band rather than a rock band. Edit: Was that rude to say? Sometimes my compliments are considered offensive. Like the time I told an old person that her wrinkles made her face more interesting.

2010-04-07T17:17:00.007-04:00

On the bus today, I accidentally pressed the release button of my umbrella while trying to show my student ID; the umbrella opened forcefully, spraying rainwater all over the bus driver.

2010-04-05T18:00:00.002-04:00

My dad often asks me what the meaning is of an English word that he has just seen for the first time. A few days ago he asked me what "virginal" meant. I should have told him to use the dictionary.

2010-03-29T18:42:00.003-04:00

2010-03-29T18:05:00.003-04:00

"You are at a pivotal moment between the past and the future," my professor declared in class. I suddenly felt like I was in some sci fi movie, about to embark on a time travel mission to alter the destiny of humankind. But this ain't no sci fi movie, my professor went on, it's the reality of our generation, and it's a heavy reality. I knew that she was telling me something really important--in a

You know you're obsessed with fashion when...

2010-03-16T21:26:00.002-04:00

I read the Globe and Mail headline, "Many Canadian runways still too short: safety board," and for a split second thought that it was referring to fashion shows.

2010-03-04T17:18:00.003-05:00

S: "My Facebook newsfeed is so different from yours. Mine's full of pregnant people and pictures of babies." - "Why?"S: "Because I'm from Blind River."Blind River is a small town in northern Ontario. This fact alone should be sufficient explanation.

The burden of reality

2010-02-26T17:31:00.003-05:00

Today I spotted a boy wearing Kappa pants. I had imagined that on the eve of the 21st century everyone had poured gasoline on their Kappa pants and set them on fire and then had used the opportunity to make s'mores, but I guess this is one of those unfortunate instances in which imagination and reality crushingly diverge.

2010-02-23T01:24:00.002-05:00

People's Daily OnlineJesus definitely had something to do with this.

Only two payments of FREE!

2010-02-22T21:42:00.003-05:00

Are you looking to hurt someone's feelings but haven't yet found the perfect insult? Well, look no further! Look your enemy straight in the eye and mercilessly declare, "Your life is just one. giant. boondoggle." Emotional trauma guaranteed! Testimonials still to come!

2010-02-12T01:46:00.001-05:00

"The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long--and you have burned so very, very brightly..." --Blade Runner

2010-02-12T01:06:00.003-05:00

American Mine (Carlin, NV 1) (2007) by David Maisel

Drama on the 5C

2010-02-10T23:01:00.002-05:00

Overheard on the bus: "Do you know about the rule where if you're going to a bar, you're supposed to bring someone along who looks similar to you but less attractive? Well, X asked me to go to a bar with her."

2010-02-10T22:29:00.003-05:00

Helena of Pop Pop Portraits makes portraits (surprise!) of perfect people who may or may not be real. I'm hoping that they are..."Corey has had the same haircut since he was five years old. It is the basic bowl shape and it first appeared on the 21st of June, 1988 when his mother bought out her much loved wooden salad bowl and cut a perfectly straight line around the rim."

Another beautiful cow

2010-02-06T02:31:00.001-05:00

National Geographic

2010-02-05T23:21:00.003-05:00

The Selby

Daily Google horoscope

2010-02-05T09:28:00.007-05:00

Rick Levine, the author of the daily Google horoscopes, wisely advises:Your friends are not the greatest positive influence on your life now, because they may encourage you to expand your horizons and open your heart to deep mystical truths. This would be a great idea, except you have very basic responsibilities that you must handle today. Don't let anyone pull you off course; just keep returning

2010-01-27T17:51:00.006-05:00

I was standing outside on campus with a group of ladies when a girl wearing a black windbreaker, black jeans, and three-inch gold stilettos walked by. One lady said, "That is not a good look for her." Another joked that the girl got her clothes from Whores 'R Us. I was offended because I shop at Whores 'R Us and they would never carry three-inch gold stilettos. Any heel less than five inches is

2010-01-26T22:43:00.004-05:00

Yvan RodicThe expression on this woman's face is incredible. (Click to enlarge for full effect.)

2010-01-26T17:17:00.005-05:00

Untitled (Man in Blue Suit) by Jamel ShabazzToday I visited the Posing Beauty in African American Culture exhibition at the Art Gallery of Hamilton. While I was there, a middle-aged, white woman was guiding a group of women--who were also middle-aged and white--through the exhibition. The group stopped at a photograph by Jamel Shabazz entitled Drama and Flava from Back in the Days (2000); the

2010-01-24T10:55:00.003-05:00

S sent me a text message last night informing me that her friend is Britney Spears' third cousin, and that Britney visited Hamilton during her "psychotic episode." Well, that makes sense, doesn't it? Who in their right mind would retreat to Hamilton for respite if they could go anywhere else in the world?

2010-01-24T01:04:00.005-05:00

Have you been feeling uncomfortably virtuous or prudish lately? Slutever is your cure.

Another questionable humanitarian project

2010-01-23T02:33:00.011-05:00

One of my roommates has anonymously posted a number of signs on the kitchen wall over the course of the year that pertain to maintaining the cleanliness of the kitchen. It is clear that his standards have not yet been met, as I noticed yet another new sign this evening on the door under the sink that reiterates the same message as the earlier ones. This is what the kitchen looked like when I came

2010-01-23T01:30:00.001-05:00

- "Why are you jaywalking?"- "I'm just trying to create memories."

There's a bit of Peter Pan in all of us

2010-01-22T01:54:00.005-05:00

At the Artist's Talk this evening I learned about a project by Diane Borsato, entitled Bouquet, in which she stole flowers from people's gardens to make a bouquet for her mother. The instructions from the Critical Art Ensemble for the project were to "commit a crime with a humanitarian outcome."Have you ever done something before that conformed to these instructions? I have. For example, last

2010-01-18T20:55:00.001-05:00

Ted Lao

2010-01-18T20:51:00.001-05:00

Ted Lao

2010-01-11T23:55:00.005-05:00

In my Introduction to Art Galleries and Museums seminar, the professor asked us to share one type of thing that we collect. She said that our answers would elucidate our characters. I should have made up something extravagant (peacock feathers), controversial (fur coats), clever (dust), or scholarly (data) to impress everyone. Instead, I said, "I collect images from the Internet of people's

2010-01-10T10:40:00.004-05:00

"We are both instances and unique." -- Donald Preziosi in Companion to Museum Studies

ICE-T ♡

2010-01-09T18:24:00.004-05:00

DROPIt is possible to find something funny even if you don't understand what the hell is going on.

2010-01-07T23:01:00.004-05:00

I was reading Imperial China: Photographs 1850-1912 by Clark Worswick and Jonathan Spence and came across a funny passage about the nineteenth-century English painter George Chinnery, who went to China in 1825 and settled there until his death in 1852.For most of his life, Chinnery's geographic location in the world was determined by a series of strategic retreats from his wife whom he described

2010-01-07T22:07:00.005-05:00

S explains why her parents opened a bank account for her at a very young age: "People have been giving me money since the day I was born."

Glam clam

2010-01-05T01:29:00.006-05:00

Today was the first day of the Introduction to Art Galleries and Museums seminar that I'm taking. The principal project will involve working within a group to create an exhibition focusing on Chinese texts that teach the Chinese language. The titular hosting institution for the exhibition is the Hamilton Public Library. Each group is comprised of five positions: project manager, curator, designer

2010-01-05T01:20:00.001-05:00

2010-01-05T01:08:00.004-05:00

Austin enjoys a well-rounded variety of pastimes. As illustrated by these pictures, one involves sporadically raising his hand in preparation for answering questions first in class (like Hermione in Harry Potter) and another is hugging Miss Rabbit (thanks, Erica!).

2010-01-05T01:07:00.001-05:00

2010-01-05T01:05:00.000-05:00

2010-01-05T01:03:00.000-05:00

2009-12-18T23:08:00.003-05:00

There is no doubt that a great outfit can boost your confidence; that is why I like to dress like I'm going to a party when I go to write an exam.

2009-12-16T21:41:00.000-05:00

2009-12-15T13:56:00.006-05:00

I compiled some of my favourite songs of the year for you to download if you're interested. Mellow:Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeroes - HomeJosé González - Heartbeats (The Knife cover)The xx - IslandsFun:Animal Collective - Daily Routine (Phaseone Remix)Dragonette - Fixin' To Thrill (Cavaliers of Fun + Anagramme Remix)La Roux - In For The KillLa Roux - I'm Not Your Toy (Data Remix)La Roux -

Golden Hook

2009-12-14T20:16:00.002-05:00

I just visited Le Blog de Betty and read her latest post about buying a scarf from Golden Hook. Golden Hook presents an innovative concept: you choose what kind of accessory you want, the pattern, colour, stitch, etc...and then you choose which grandmother you want to knit your item! I perused the site and thought the picture gallery of the grandmas was really hilarious. Check it out here. :)

Colour, sugar, fun

2009-12-14T19:33:00.006-05:00

I had some sprinkles left over from making fairy bread, so I put them in a Nutella jar. Oh, and I also had a spare pig lying around so I put it in there too.The light reflecting off my disco lamp produced an ethereal effect.Apparently Pez is one of the essential experiences of childhood that I never had. D received this as a Christmas gift but generously gave it to me because I told her that I

Orlan

2009-12-14T09:56:00.002-05:00

She is creating an image in order to destroy it.

A point of concern

2009-12-13T19:20:00.012-05:00

It was revealed during a game at last night's Christmas party that many people think that I am very concerned about clothing. I was a bit embarrassed. I'm somewhat uncomfortable with being perceived in this way because I don't want to be regarded as materialistic or superficial. I am not saying that I think people see me in this way or even that anyone thinks about it, but it does tend to be a

Living poorly

2009-12-11T23:25:00.005-05:00

I have just now acknowledged that there is a great disconnect between my perceptions of self and how I really am. I have always thought of myself as a positive person who rarely complains. I don't know if I ever even was this person, but if I was, somewhere along the line I became a negative person who is too critical and skeptical and doesn't like that many people. How did this happen? I need to

2009-12-09T16:16:00.000-05:00

Charlie Engman

Pun of the day

2009-12-09T12:59:00.004-05:00

What a mist-ical atmosphere.

Secret Santa

2009-12-09T12:44:00.006-05:00

My amazing Secret Santa bought me a Woody keychain (which perfectly complements my laptop case), a Buzz Lightyear figure, and Opi Siberian Nights nail polish, the gloss of which is so extreme that I can see my own reflection in my nails. A-mazing! Thanks again, Nat! :)

2009-12-08T21:23:00.002-05:00

Jak & JilOne of my favourite style blog photos of all time.

2009-12-07T22:42:00.004-05:00

Often when my mom is speaking to me over the phone about eating fruit, drinking milk, going to bed early, smiling more, being nice to my roommates, etc., my dad will repeatedly yell "TARAAAAAAAAAAA" in the background. I'm not sure why he does it -- and I don't think he knows either -- but he doesn't stop until my mom gets really annoyed and tells him to stop making so much noise. It is hysterical.