Hayley Williams of Paramore

I wish that Paramore was a Lady Gaga tribute band rather than a rock band.

Edit: Was that rude to say? Sometimes my compliments are considered offensive. Like the time I told an old person that her wrinkles made her face more interesting.

On the bus today, I accidentally pressed the release button of my umbrella while trying to show my student ID; the umbrella opened forcefully, spraying rainwater all over the bus driver.

My dad often asks me what the meaning is of an English word that he has just seen for the first time. A few days ago he asked me what "virginal" meant. I should have told him to use the dictionary.

"You are at a pivotal moment between the past and the future," my professor declared in class. I suddenly felt like I was in some sci fi movie, about to embark on a time travel mission to alter the destiny of humankind. But this ain't no sci fi movie, my professor went on, it's the reality of our generation, and it's a heavy reality. I knew that she was telling me something really important--in a really abstract way. Listening to her speak is sometimes like listening to foreign songs with English choruses: it all sounds very nice but most of the time you don't understand what the hell is going on.

You know you're obsessed with fashion when...

I read the Globe and Mail headline, "Many Canadian runways still too short: safety board," and for a split second thought that it was referring to fashion shows.

S: "My Facebook newsfeed is so different from yours. Mine's full of pregnant people and pictures of babies."

- "Why?"

S: "Because I'm from Blind River."

Blind River is a small town in northern Ontario. This fact alone should be sufficient explanation.