Fried rice 4 U

Since my mother is a health nut/fob, I was deprived of many of the foods that are essential to a Canadian childhood. Some examples are:

+ Alphagetti

+ Fruit by the Foot

+ Jello and pudding

+ Lunchables

+ Animal crackers

Speaking in code

A confusing conversation in the elevator:

- "I didn't even have to make breakfast last night!"

- "There's discontinuity there, man."

God is YouTube

A Facebook status on my news feed:

Do you have fire for the Lord? Interested in YouTube evangelism? Join with me to spread the Gospel! - send me a facebook msg today! God Bless :)

A drink that is the colour of studying

I decided to mix orange juice and diet Pepsi. It tastes like carbonated orange juice and looks like sewer water.

Every family is dysfunctional

Last evening's highlights:

+ M makes out with a teddy bear and then proceeds to sit on it.

+ P aims a hairdryer at my hair while I pose for the camera.

+ S demonstrates that her outfit looks better when her dress is pulled down to her midriff.

+ For his birthday, D receives a sex toy in a Christmas gift bag that is signed: "Dear S, Merry Christmas! Love, Mom and Dad."

+ At the club N pretends to take a photo of E while a lesbian couple goes at it on the floor in the background.

+ P recounts dancing with a guy and accidentally butting him in the head.

+ D and I cannot open the cab doors from the inside for an entire minute. I wonder if I am being kidnapped.

+ When we return home I take off my skirt (damp from the rain) and convince myself that walking down to the lobby in only my top and tights is acceptable.

In short, the rain did not dampen our spirits but instead intensified the whole experience...which reminds me of this sexy video.

Fairy tales are dead

Tonight at Embassy, the gay club in Hamilton, a straight couple solicited me to dance with them.* The idea initially seemed interesting but then I got to thinking about what they were expecting from me. I quickly realized that since neither of them were of interest to me the situation could only turn sour. When the girl's boyfriend left briefly I made my swift escape and returned to my friends. I feel guilty now that I left the girl by herself but, unfortunately, when I am drunk I rarely consider the feelings of strangers.

*A bizarre sentence.

More yes than no but definitely not maybe

This evening's highlights and lessons:

+ M finishes a game of bowling with 43 points.

+ Gwar is a metal band that squirts fake blood at its audience during shows.

+ A girl asks me, "Do you have children?"

+ A girl in the bathroom confesses, "I work at Shoppers Drug Mart. I want to kill myself."

+ We watch two cops checking out two girls who are talking to three guys.

+ A guy who works at Subway is always high and subsequently enjoys smiling at customers. There is a Facebook group dedicated to him.

Let's bounce

Peripatetic evenings are the most fun--if only because they are so rare. When someone has a car and there is the option of traveling from one place to another with little cost in money or time, a phenomena occurs in which the group can remain at one place for only so long before wanting to leave and find a new place to settle. It is as though having a car unlocks an infinite world of opportunities which one feels must be explored maximally in one evening. A prime example is this past evening:

10:30 PM-12:00 AM: bowling

1:00-2:00 AM: bar (Gown and Gavel)

2:30-3:00 AM: Subway

3:00-5:00 AM: Tim Horton's

A revelation

I just finished watching the Chinese film Hero. Never before has the meaning of a film resonated so deeply. The film has expressed truths that I once could see but that personal anger has obscured. I have reclaimed clarity and feel liberated in letting go of the negative feelings that I have harbored over the past few days. 

Edit: Life is not as simple as a movie.

When change causes anomie

It is the last week of fourth year and, as life goes, events have been unfolding unexpectedly. The most that one can hope for when dealing with friendship problems is to emerge with integrity intact and no regrets.

Small talk

- "How have you been?"

- "Mediocre."

- "Why just mediocre?"

- "Because I'm not in love."

The triangle: an ancient shape

When we are together we do not listen to each other but instead only pay heed to our own individual thoughts. For the most part we are content with the way things are. 

"Tara, you have to take off the lens cap to take photos."

Today I was given a Nikon D-60 to take photos of people working at the Print Studio; they will be appearing in an article on the Print Studio in Hamilton Magazine. My supervisor explained that typically the magazine would have sent over a photographer but that the recession may be the reason why they didn't this time. If my photos actually end up in Hamilton Magazine instead of being deleted off the camera I will finally be able to look at myself in the mirror and say: "I'm a photographer." 

Secret pleasures exposed!

+ Watching dogs pee.

+ When people on the bus pull the cord for the next stop but it has already been pulled.

+ The sound of gas escaping when you first untwist the cap of a carbonated beverage.

Beauty is felt, not seen

Last night I found myself sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor of The Print Studio, listening to a duo from South Africa play the most heartfelt music. The man with the long, golden ringlets of hair sat on a pillow on the floor while he played his sitar; the woman strummed her acoustic guitar as she sang viscerally into the microphone. My sensorium was sated. The scene was devastatingly romantic and I almost cried from the overwhelming beauty of it all.

Not everyone can handle the suburbs

My parents tell me a story about how they discovered a bag of bread suspiciously hanging on the handle of their front door one morning. 

As there was no note attached to the bag, it was not possible to identify the culprit using evidence such as handwriting or fingerprints. My father set out to interrogate our neighbours regarding the incident but somehow got sidetracked (probably by Tim Horton's); he did not return until the evening to report that the next door neighbour had purchased the bread on sale and generously left it on our door as a surprise gift. The news came too late, however, as my mother had already thrown the bread in the garbage because "who knew what someone could have put in it." Apparently vigilance against anthrax is a critical aspect of suburban living.

My father concludes the narrative with this succinct message: "Your mom's thinking is not normal!"

Everyone is addicted to something

My father is in love with Tim Horton's and patronizes one near our home almost daily. His order is always the same: a medium coffee--one cream, no sugar. Sometimes I tag along and he introduces me to whoever happens to be working at the moment. The annual Roll Up the Rim to Win contest is currently running. He casually tells me, "I won twelve free coffees and two doughnuts."

A sick trap

It feels anachronistic and kind of lame to like Eminem's music but I can't help it! His new song We Made You is pleasantly swirling around in my brain.

Anna Selezneva in i-D Magazine May 2009

Scanned by Shely @ tFS

Your poetry is undone

A reply to a post by MAGIC MOLLY: "You give me word boners."

Clothes that flatter the body

- "I bought a new skirt."

- "What material is it?"

- "It's sheer."

Li Wei

Li Wei Falls to the France (2006)

29 Levels of Freedom (2003)

Love at the High Place 1  (2004)

Taboo

The girl sitting next to me in class sneezed and then muttered, "Bless you."

There's a fire in your mouth

I had the most excruciating lunch today at school: each dreaded spicy salmon roll that I put in my mouth steadily amplified the fiery burning sensation radiating from every taste bud on my tongue. By the sixth roll tears were threatening to spill. I kept thinking, I hope no one looks over and sees me in this sorry state. The last roll was the most torturous, of course, and right at the moment when tears began to stream down my face a girl came over and asked if I would mind if she sat across from me. I avoided eye contact and managed to bleat, "No, I don't mind," but she must have instantly regretted it. She must have said to herself, Fuck, I don't really want to eat my lunch across from some stranger crying into her food....

So, she sat sideways in her seat, perhaps feeling that it would be rude to leave and sit somewhere else but at the same time not wanting to face my wretched visage directly. I decided to spare her further distress--and myself further embarrassment--and hastily departed. 

Kate Moss

Jenn Gotch

Kind of a downer

Some guy called me a whore because I told him to fuck off. It seemed like the logical thing to do in my crunked state because he was hassling me about the amount of tip I was giving the cab driver. He said something about eating my pussy. This is a rather crude post but this incident is not something that I can brush off; I feel degraded. I realize that this guy was drunk but the fact that his initial instinct was to call me a whore rather than throwing some non-misogynistic insult that I could respect reflects the reality that cultural perceptions of women have not improved as much as I naively thought. His careless words have hurt me but I wish that I was strong enough that they didn't.

Cognition is just a hobby

It is strange that some of the most impressive revelations occur while sitting on the toilet or taking a shower. Here is a personal example: while in the shower today I realized that the "09Feb11" expiry date on the tofu I had eaten an hour earlier meant "February 11, 2009" and not "February 9th, 2011."

Siri Tollerod by Luciana Val & Franco Musso in Numéro 102 April 2009

tFs.

Ryan McGinley: I know where the summer goes

Fireworks 1 (2007)

Running Fireworks (2007)

Laura (Thunderstorm) (2007)

Wade Wave (2004)

The photography of New York-based artist Ryan McGinley dissects action, defined as the process or state of acting. The captured constituent moments of inspiration, intention, execution, and fulfillment embody an effervescent energy that seems to transcend ordinary reality. The brilliant sparks of light and bright abstract colours of the environment combined with the sense of vigorous movement reflect the indomitable, fiery spirit of youth.

Conjecture

Question: Would many more people enjoy the rain if each droplet was a different colour of the rainbow but upon encountering a surface would turn colourless? 

Pros:

+ Beauty

+ Aphrodisiac

+ Fun

Cons:

+ Issues of visibility

Answer: No.

A sad moment

An early morning rain accompanies me while I wait for the bus downtown. It arrives and depressed bodies trickle out. As I step onto the vacant bus the stale smell of cigarettes and alcohol nauseates me. 

Achilles' heel

M: "I'm gonna punch your nipple."

C: "That's my weakness!"

Analogies aid understanding

It is mandatory for every fourth year Health Sciences student to read a set of supplementary applications written by secondary school applicants. Most of them are monotonous in their meticulous refinement, but if you're lucky you will get some rotten eggs which are the most fun to read. Here is a (hardly) paraphrased example of one: 

I am an excellent problem solver who can discern the best solution to a problem almost immediately. I am always the first person that my friends turn to for help and they are satisfied with my advice every time. 

These statements are the equivalent of meeting someone on a blind date and introducing yourself in this manner: Hi, I am amazing in bed and every person I bang leaves satisfied...every time.

The Backseat Stylers

Today marks the beginning of a unique venture into fashion for my sister and I: we have started a fashion blog called The Backseat Stylers. My incessant drivel about blogging and reading blogs during Fashion Week must have, at least partly, inspired the concept of a collaborative fashion blog, although I can no longer recall who actually proposed it. At any rate, I hope that The Backseat Stylers is going to be something special for the both of us!