If I wanted to be confused I would have opened a book

- Hello?

- Hi, is the kitchen still open?

- Yes.

- I'd like to order for take-out, please.

- Sorry, the kitchen is closed.

- Oh.

While waiting at a bus stop, a middle-aged woman decided to strike up a conversation with me--despite the fact that I had my earphones on (some people just don't get it).

- Do you go to McMaster?

- (I take my earphones off.) Sorry?

- Do you go to McMaster?

- Yes.

- What are you studying?

- I'm in Art History.

- Oh, what kind of art do you make?

- I don't make art; I study art...history.

Some people really just don't get it.

I was talking to my thirty-something-year-old coworker and used the phrase "keep it on the DL." She didn't know what "DL" meant. I explained it to her and she said to me, "See, you speak young, sexy, Internet language. I speak old lady language."

Lesson of the Day: If you are looking to seduce an older man or woman, use as many acronyms as possible to intensify your sex appeal and aura of mystery.

My great friend just emailed me a photo of a message I wrote in my friend's yearbook in grade 12.

My supervisor said to me, "You're like a little pixie that hides behind doors."

At the bus stop

- "I think I saw The Guy; he was wearing the same hat and jacket. He was at the Student Centre around 5:30 PM."

- "Really?! Oh my god, he's so hot. He's perfect. Let's not see him ever again so that he can remain perfect in our minds. Are you going to the church dance this weekend?"

Anna Ancher, Young Girl Reading a Letter, 1902. Loebdanishartcollection.