Disturbing things are happening in my condo.

A few days ago I turned on the kitchen faucet and the water had an alarming tinge of dirty yellow. I resolved the issue by not drinking water for the rest of the day.

Just moments before writing this post I was in the shower when a brief rumbling sound erupted from the shower head; immediately thereafter a foul smell akin to a thousand burning rubber tires began to pervade the air. I became a little panicked as I had foolishly decided not to wear clothes in the shower and thus was not in the least prepared to evacuate the condo in the event of a burning rubber emergency. I took a deep breath through my mouth to calm down, ensured that there was no fire beyond the shower curtains, and then finished showering as quickly as possible. Now my hair and body smell like burning rubber rather than a fresh waterfall or a spring garden. I smelled infinitely better before the shower. I can't even shower to get rid of the smell because the shower is the very cause of it! This urgent problem needs to be rectified, but, unfortunately, it is nearly 1 AM and all the burning rubber investigators are off-duty.

I guess I will just have to call 9-1-1.

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